Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Taking Control of Your Destiny conitnued
Over the course of the following years I sought out everything I could find on religion and philosophy, my Mother and my Father (I'm still just getting to know my Father). I learned that all my feelings and thoughts were not unique. Nor was my desire for something more than the bullshit of everyday life.I made myself a sponge, exploring all religions, the dual deity, polytheism, monotheism, New Age, the Craft and everything else that peaked my interest. I talked to people about all these things, learning different points of view and perspectives. I began to understand, to get it: I'm in control of my life, my destiny. And the only thing holding me back from obtaining peace, enlightenment, reunion with the One was me. All I had to do was act, make a decision to change. People, it was not easy. I had to face myself and accept the fact that I was unhappy and unfulfilled because of my own deeds. There was no one, no thing, no government, no god that was causing me pain. I was inflicting pain on myself. Guilt almost killed me, the people I'd hurt. I've attempted to end my life more than once due to this guilt. But my Mother, my Father, the Divine have interceded each time and saved my life in this lifetime. Now, instead of praying for death I pray for strength and endurance. I ackowledge I make mistakes, but I alsdo realize that my destiny was not one of doom. Because I have the power to change.